Last night I watched the blue blood moon eclipse, watched her hang poised amid the disarray of stars that shone like plankton. The grandeur of nature always gives you that shrinking feeling, makes you look forward and backward at once, makes the object of your contemplation revolve and show forth its multiple facades.
It’s not the moon alone, it’s something else, something unfathomable, something that opens a door inside of you and makes you aware that there is a roof to your being. Staring at the benign and radiant expression of the moon I had a sudden ache. The kind that comes unannounced and makes a home inside of you. The feeling echoed, like a voice traveling through a valley in solitude. Never had I felt such self-possession as this.
The feeling was met, almost immediately, with one of dismay. What did I sacrifice for this self-possession? Whom did I abandon in order to maintain my beloved freedom? And have I become so obsessed with the “I” that I no longer know how to consummate the “We.” Questions that hung suspended in front of me like the eclipsed moon, equally as foreboding as they were alluring.
There have been times when I have rejoiced in having no possessions, free of all ties, so free I could pass through cities, through countries, pass from reality into a dream, owning nothing, regretting nothing, wishing nothing. I spent this time building a home inside myself, gathering splinters on my palms and weaving the right tapestries for the walls.
Perhaps it was the metaphysical weight of this night, the gravitational pull of this super moon, which unravelled those tapestries and sent a tidal wave through those walls, marking the beginning of a new phase; one in which I start to move towards, instead of away from the enormous absence of form that is love.
In my awareness, there are two kinds of possession. The first kind is one that abides by the romantic contracts that I have made and broken many times before. It is the kind of consummation of the “we” that lays ownership over the “I,” and it is this specific type of possession in love that I have spent years undoing.
I endured a kind of pilgrimage towards the second type, self-possession, not knowing that it carried almost the same poison as the first when taken in high doses. In this precise moment, exposed beneath the scarlet light of a blood moon, I began the process of sucking that poison out. To make room for a love that is born of a ruthless self-possession that I was not grown up enough to know how use until now.
Last night I looked out over an unknown landscape, over the billions of stars and that harrowing moon, not wanting to understand it, not needing to analyse it. Observing the self with such blissful desertion as this, I realised that I belong neither to myself, nor another, and that love is not something I should be afraid to give because nothing is being taken.
Whitelies columnist Shannon May Powell shares her thoughts on THE MEETING OF TWO SOLITUDES.
Saturday, September 29 marked the date when the Berlin Art Week crowd came together to celebrate ICONS and the launch of Whitelies Paper no. 1.
Whitelies columnist Shannon May Powell shares her thoughts on THE OBSESSION WITH CHANGE.
Whitelies columnist Shannon May Powell shares her thoughts on VULNERABILITY.
“The Art of Banking” is an unapologetic look at banking investments in war zones, through the eyes of international war reporter Robert King, featuring Whitelies Editor-in-Chief Stefan Dotter.
Meet Whitelies Muse Lena Hardt, a German born model starring in runway shows, fashion magazines and Céline campaigns. We sat down with her to hear her take on existence, failure and spirituality.
Whitelies met Romain Laprade, an up-and-coming French photographer, who mainly shoots spaces and still life.
Whitelies columnist Shannon May Powell shares her thoughts on IMPERMANENCE.
The English-born actor sat down with us to talk about his childhood, his on-screen persona Jonathan and biggest British stereotypes.
Whitelies visited acclaimed artist Norbert Bisky at his studio in Berlin-Friedrichshain to talk with him about his current solo exhibition “Anomie” at König London, the political and social status quo in Germany and his perception on personal failure.
Austrian action-artist and Brigitte Bardot’s sworn enemy Hermann Nitsch shares his thoughts on FAILURE.
Whitelies columnist Shannon May Powell shares her thoughts on POSSESSION.
GLOBAL WARMING IS A MYTH takes us to an apocalyptic near future that confronts problems of information dissemination and communication.
Whitelies Magazine in conversation with ethical jewelry designer Lilian von Trapp.
Whitelies columnist Shannon May Powell shares her thoughts on LOVE.
After being the youngest actor to win an Oscar, this prolific and elegant New Yorker is mulling life behind the camera.
Whitelies columnist Shannon May Powell shares her thoughts on MEMORY.
The British actor and model shows us how to dress for a big night out.
Our columnist Shannon May Powell shares her thoughts on HUNGER.
As the 5th anniversary of WHITELIES is coming up we embarked on a new journey as a culture publication as we opened our Paris Office in September 2017.
The star of Narcos, Game of Thrones and Kingsman: The Golden Circle on finding fame in his forties.
A good fragrance is really a powerful cocktail of memories and emotions.
An excerpt from “Picture Yourself in a Burning Building” by Scott Treleaven.
We talked to Adrienne Jüliger: Germany’s most promising young model-export.
The fashion designer shares her thoughts on HUNGER: Brecht, Spongebob & Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Alysée Yin Chen is a Taiwanese fashion designer based in France. By integrating art to fashion, her brand's approach is often described as luxe expérimental.
An Interview with Leon Emanuel Blanck.
On tuesday 16th of May 2017 we celebrated the American Freedom at the Ramones Museum in Kreuzberg.